I just reached the 80 page mark on Off Saving the World, and I'm a little over a minute done with the upcoming stand up comedian animation, which I might start streaming again. I've been offline for a while, working, but also just worrying too much. I do that all the time, and it's not fun, but part of my anxiety is that the more I feel it, the harder it is to stop it and just have fun, even when I should be having it.
I think back to when I wrote "How to prevent idiocracy". It was a stressful and kinda scary time and I wanted to make people feel better. I still agree with the overall message of it, but at the same time, it's a direction I don't wanna go with my content. It was really preachy and set really high expectations. My anxiety causes me to do that ALL the time. Setting myself up to fail instead of just doing what I actually wanna do, and should do, which is create fun.
Despite being a weird cartoonist, I've always been oddly serious and anxious, never really able to have fun like a regular person. I feel like I got into art and animation as an escape from things like school and life in general. But it ended up making me just as anxious. And art and entertainment are very feeling based, so whatever you're feeling is eventually gonna come out the more art and entertainment you make. I tried to avoid putting my angst into what I created, but eventually it came out one way or another.
Lately I've been able to cope with it by just drawing random sketches and pics in my spare time, so it does fuel my creativity, as it always has. I enjoy drawing even more when it's alleviating anxiety and stress. That's the feeling I wanna create in others. In pursuit of getting more in touch with feelings I ignored for very long, I forgot I'm doing this for fun. My fun, other people's fun, and fun in general. Maybe not fun for EVERYONE, but nothing is.
Maybe it's a no-brainer that I should focus on the fun aspect of being a cartoonist, but in my experience, the internet, stuff happening in the world, personal life, and life in general can be overwhelming, when it's not being inspiring. Obviously you can't have fun all the time, and my content won't always be happy-go-lucky, but that's okay too. Part of growing up is taking the good with the bad. And the bad makes the good even better. But the whole point is to relieve anxiety and stress, making it easier to relax, but not to the point where you're too relaxed and you get anxious about how not anxious you are.
In short, OStW is closer to completion, a stand up comic animation is in the works, and fun is surprisingly fun.
See you around.
Have a fox: